Yesterday was the worst job-related experience I have ever, in my entire life, gone through. I would give more details, but earlier today I spent a half hour writing about it and then my computer crashed and I lost it all. So I really don't want to spend that much time thinking about it again. Needless to say it was un-be-liev-a-ble.

Funny thing is, while I was there I realized what it is I want to do with my life. That makes me happy. (And no, I'm not going to tell you what that is. Unless you pay me. I take checks or cash.)

Still, despite the overall torturous experience that was my day, God managed to teach me a thing or two. The whole time I was working I kept thinking about the verse, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men..." (Colossians 3:23). That's rough. I don't think I do that enough -- work for God, not men, that is. If I were to rephrase that (though I realize I tread on extreme out-of-contextness), I'd put it, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for a paycheck." You might think, heck, what's the difference? Well, I can only speak for myself, but a lot of times, while I do care what the supervisors think of my work (hence the "men" in the above verse), I also think, "I just need a paycheck. I just need the money." The money, the bank account balance, becomes me goal. I think, tough, that money is never an end-all. We need it, yes. And like Paul says in 2 Thessalonians 3:10, "If a man will not work, he shall not eat." But it wasn't just eating for eating's sake -- it was more than that. It was to continue to spread the Gospel (afterall, it's hard to preach when you're dead -- though I suppose even that is possible, as the Pope's death is an example of). And the goal of working for your food was obvious, just from reading a lot of what Paul taught -- the idea of supporting yourself, to "not be dependent on anybody", and through your hard work, being an example to unbelievers (1 Thessalonians 4:11, 12).

I think my brain functions on short-term goals. I only really pay attention to the immediate future. For example, when I need my rent money, I focus my energies on getting money for that end. It isn't that I don't think about the future, but I tend to pay more attention to the now. I discovered yesterday that by doing that I miss out on the whole of what it means to be a Christian. My life quite literally is not my own. My means aren't for my ends. That doesn't mean I shouldn't use some of the money I earn for such things as entertainment or whatnot. It only means that I have to recognize a few things: one, I only have the money because of God. It was His blessing me with the job and the abilitiy to do the job that I have the money. Two, everything in this life save for God is temporary. Every "thing" I own will not last. Three, with everything I am blessed with (which includes work, money, 'stuff', friends) I am ultimately responsible in how I use them.

All of this is pretty basic, of course -- things we should always be aware of. But it is amazing how easily I forget what life is about.