No More Easter Bunny

Published Sunday, March 27, 2005 by the Stewart | E-mail this post

To the delight of conservative religious groups everwhere, the Easter Bunny was pronounced dead on impact by the city coroner early yesterday morning. Reports indicate he was struck by several motorists as he attempted to cross a busy intersection, apparently on his way to deliver festivities at a local children's hospital. Foul play is not suspected, but authorities haven't ruled it out.

The Easter Bunny is survived by his 137 children.

His remains will be served with a light gravy dish at St. Joseph's Cathedral at 2pm, March 29. Dessert to follow.