Raptus Regaliter. Latin. Royally Screwed


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Lord, grant me that I may always desire more than I can accomplish.
(Michelangelo)
Today was insane. I think this is literally the fastest answer to prayer I have every experienced.

This morning my roommate and I went down to Labour Unlimited (a temporary job service) to get some work for the day. Rent (and a quarter million other bills) is due next week, and I don't have nearly enough money (if only I had some Martha Stewart stock), so I was hoping to get some moola that way. I mean, the place always has jobs for people who are looking. And yet today, for some reason, me and Dave were left sitting there for 2 1/2 hours and no work. What a fun morning that was. After we left I was just thinking, "Ok, I'm royally screwed..." All sorts of thoughts were going through my head about how I was possibly going to pay my bills (considerations ranged from selling my action figures to selling my body -- if there was anyone desperate enough to invest). It's the long weekend, so L.U. isn't open until next week. That gives me four days next week, which just isn't enough time.

After getting home and calming myself down with a coffee (oh baby!) I went to check my e-mail -- and what do I find but two e-mails: one from some friends in Fort Nelson telling my they were sending me money, and the second an e-mail from the bank saying I'd received a money-transfer. WHAT THE HECK?! Believe it or not, I literally jumped out of my chair and did a little dance. Well, it was sort of like a dance. It was more like a drunken stupper, actually.

I can not fathom why God blesses me like He does, not only by filling practical, physical needs, but with the friends He gives me (who I don't deserve, by the way). How do you get over the fact that He's always looking out for you, no matter how bad things seem? I went through one of those moments today where I wasn't sure whether to cry, laugh, or scream. I might have done all three (which would explain why the police came by asking about a domestic disturbance).

It's strange, too, because as my needs increase I tend to second-guess myself and what I did with the money I did have. The problem, though, is that I instead of questioning why I bought such-and-such CD, I tend to think, "If I only hadn't given [random dollar number] to this person" or "If only I hadn't given my tithe just yet." Why am I so selfish like that? I've become so me-focused. And yet God always has grace on me, gives me a few smacks, and tells me to stop being such an idiot. I'm glad He does. I need it. A lot. And often. Believe you me, I need the help!

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
(2 Corinthians 4:17-18)


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