Welcome to the planet. Welcome to existence. Everyone's here.
Welcome to the fallout. Welcome to resistance. The tension is here, between who you are and who you could be, between how it is and how it should be.
(Switchfoot, Dare You To Move)

What is it about having a good week that makes it mandatory it will be followed by a crappy one? It seems to me that whenever I feel good, I have a hard time enjoying it because I know it is only temporary. Is it just me who has these "swings" of feelings? Most of the time I feel bi-polar (but having known people who actually are, I know that I'm not) -- I hate it. I suppose in all fairness it's just a part of being a human being. Good days and bad ones.

But I don't even feel like I'm having a "bad" day/week. It's just blah. It's just time. Empty time. I hate feeling like I'm lost. Like my life is a forest and there's no path to follow, no clearing in the trees, no signs to tell me the better way to take. It's all dark, thick woods and most of the time when I feel like I've found a good trail, I meet a dead end -- or a large, angry grizzly bear. Is life all about survival? About being lost but pretending you aren't? You know, someone sees you wandering around, so you try to make it seem like you're actually just 'casually strolling', enjoying yourself?

'Yet this'...

I'm trying to remember that. That everything in life rests on God. The second I take my dependence off of Him, as soon as I lose my focus, and I put it all on something else, I realize how empty and unfulfilling it is. God can be Only goal, my Only focus, my Only desire. Everything is dust. Everything else is empty, meaningless, temporary. Even my good days -- even they can't be the objects of my affection. Because they come and they go. People come and they go. Money comes and it goes. Success comes and it goes. Yet God always remains. Why do I have such a hard time with that?